It's Not Easy Being Big...

Bracken and I had a rough night a couple days ago. It had just been one of those afternoons. He'd gotten tired and cranky early and was into everything, being his busy self. Then he threw several handfuls of dirt onto my freshly painted --still wet-- shelf. Ohhh man! Then while I tried to fix dinner he stood on my bare feet with his shoes on and kept giving me indian rug burns while he fussed and cried for attention. The final straw came when I didn't push a big bowl of vegetables and olive oil back far enough on the table. He grabbed it, dumping the entire contents onto the floor, and then proceeded to "skate" through the olive oil. I don't think I've ever been so mad at him. I said "Bracken!" and none too gently scooped him up and set him down on the couch in the living room. He cried while I cried as I cleaned up and then mopped my oily kitchen floor. He'd already eaten so I decided it was time for bed.

He picked one of his favorite books, "It's Not Easy Being Big" for me to read to him. As I read the first few pages I just kept thinking, "That's for sure!" Then it starts saying "It's not easy being small." Up to that point in the evening I was feeling pretty frustrated and picked on. I was feeling like it wasn't easy being big: Trying to be patient while every button was being pushed, making a healthy dinner when I wanted to order pizza, wanting a few minutes of "me" time. Then I started thinking about Bracken, and how it's not easy being small. How he tries so hard to talk but isn't always understood. How he can't get his own food when he's hungry. How he has to rely on me or Brian for pretty much everything, but at the same time wants to be independent in so many new ways.

So at that point I got a little reality check on my pity-party. Bracken still had a really hard time going to sleep, and thank heavens Brian came home and took over for me after a long day of his own. Not only did he get Bracken to sleep, but he told me to read or watch a show while he did the dishes too. Thank you Brian, you're amazing. Even though it's not always easy being big, I'll try to remember it's not always easy being small either. I am so grateful to have my little boy (and my wonderful husband!), and hopefully I'll be a little more patient the next time we're having a rough day.